Whats Behind You?

Ok So for the past few weeks I been finding out random stuff about people.
a few nights ago i had a conversation with a friend of mine and we got to talking about "mask".
for you guys that dont know what that means, its pretty much faking things about yourself to hide things.

well Ive come to find out we all do this.
well I got to thinking what if the think behind your mask is something so scary you can never let it go because its a complete contraction of what you are as a person.

I've come to the conclusion everybody is a lairs, myself included the only different is the extent to which we lie and if it makes the world a better place or a worst place. well im trying to make it a better place.

The Chaos Begins

Well Things are starting to look up for me. Seems like I’ve finally got that chance to start improving myself at a faster rate.
Today I had another job interview today and got the job.... so woot woot for me >:D.

Now that I have some money inflow I can start investing in myself. Things like paying for school myself so I’ll be able to take as much classes as possible (the most classes the better).

I’m finally becoming more self reliant. So yea bring it world I’m going to absorb you into the abyss known as “Pandemonium” >:D

My restraints are coming off bit by bit and it is going be interesting to see how i develop when i have no stupid pointless restrictions on what I can/cant do.

Self Definition Without Realization

In a general way, most people learn about them self in high school. When they enter college (or working world) they have pretty much a good understanding of what they are as a person and what they are capable of.

This would normally apply to most but there are always people like me that might understand who they are but not know what they are capable of. I know I’m able to do amazing things because I've don't amazing things so far. I just don't know what my limits are as a person so I guess I'll keep pushing the bottom till it stops working.

It might be that I am young and still in that whole "invulnerably state” of life, which I think is pure B.S.
When a person thinks they can get shot and not die they should be put in a crazy house for being so stupid.
lol But I digress.

Well at the end of day I'm looking for that one chance to find out the full extent of my ability as a person.
I can wait!

Lets become amazing...Again

I've been trying my hardest to get out of my own mind lately. My imagination has been going wild for the past few weeks and i finally figured out how to contorl it a bit better.
Now a days I do push-ups and other random work-out related things to stop me from randomly "zoneing out".

I started back finally drawing, so my skills as a artist can improve. Ive taken a break from doing design work because nobody around me really understand my work ethic when it comes to designing picture.

At the end of the day im gradually getting better and better, thats a good thing in my eyes. Im getting my self back into a better physical and mental state. I have started to work towards a few of my live goals so YAY! for me =D

Detachment And Elevation

Well I've been going through a lot of ups and down through out this year. I though it would be interesting to get some of my ideas/thoughts down on paper. It seems the whole idea that i want somebody that will help me, not only improve myself and become more expressive in my social/economical advancement has been turning out to be more hindering then propelling. It's a habit I need to get out of. Always expecting the best but the true is that it is never gonna come, that might seem pessimistic. Seeing how things have been unfolding it's more feasible to call it a realistic idea.

I'm 20 now and I've decided I need to start moving at a faster pace, I'm growing older and my chance to become a part of history is getting smaller and smaller. I truly don't want to be assimilated to the empty abyss know and the "general public".

Well this is my 1st try at writing a blog or w/e just put down what i was thinking about.